Are you looking for help on mentoring youth? Well then you've come to the right place. Sometimes as mentors, although we try hard, we still find obstacles in our way that may be applying additional stress on the relationship we have with the youth in our lives. We may feel that we are having a hard time communicating with the ones we love and vice versa; and although we may try a variety of different things it just doesn't seem to be working.

Now take a deep breath and...don't worry. This is a common occurrence when mentoring youth and things will work themselves out in time. However, as people tend to grow and evolve so do their actions and reactions and thus so do our methods of communication. Below are some guidelines which will hopefully help you effectively communicate with the youth in your life.

1) Say What You Mean - Don't forget, sometimes we can say one thing but really mean another. Pay attention to what the youth in your life is trying to say. Also, don't hide what you really want to say either; if you're both not sure, ask again. Communication and open honesty is the key throughout the entire relationship; the good, the bad and even the ugly.

2) Actions are Louder than Words - Sometimes when we have problems or stress we don't want to talk about it, but people can sense it by our actions and appearance. This can be called our "mood." Pay attention to it. If your teen is acting out there may be something more there than meets the eye.

3) Praise the Good - No one ever likes it when you show up early for work every day and your boss never says anything, but the one time you're late, you hear about it for the next two weeks. Don't be that guy. We always tend to notice the bad but never praise the good. Don't forget that the little things in life are sometimes the most important.

4) Be Patient - Patience is a virtue. If one method of communication doesn't seem to be working, take a deep breath and try another. Remember, we don't all learn the same way. Some by seeing, others by doing, and remember, a mistake is never a mistake if something is learned by it.

5) Don't Take it Personally - Occasionally, we tend to take things personally when it comes to the youth in our lives and their actions. As a successful mentor we cannot take these actions personally. Remember they may be acting out in these manners for numerous reasons, such as attention-getting (remember negative attention is still better than no attention), intimacy issues, school or peer pressure and generally it is the ones they look up to and trust that they will confide these actions either into or onto.

So remember (although not always easy), that really when you're getting lashed out by your teen... it's a compliment, not a conflict, because they feel that comfortable with you to show themselves behaving in that manner. For further tips on effective communicating or for more help on mentoring youth please visit our website.

About the Author

Andrew Huang